Fast forward to now and I'm looking backing thinking maybe I should have just said a healthy baby. Would that have changed things? Maybe things would be different if I didn't paint when I was pregnant, or carry those Christmas decorations up the stairs. Deep down I know none of these things are true. I did nothing to make Hazel unhealthy. I know from the beginning of time this is who Hazel is suppose to be. I know I was chosen to be her mother and I am going to have to help her be the strong, amazing woman I know she is going to be and she is going to make me the strong, amazing woman I have to be. But, right now,this is the beginning. I'm in denial, I'm a hot mess. I just want shut my door,hide in my room and cuddle her for the next 18 years.
Nate and I have noticed for the past couple of months that something was "off" with Hazel. Her shoulder was higher on her left side, she never turned her head to the left and seemed to have a curve in her spine. Our Pediatrician (at the time) assured us that we were being worried parents and everything was fine. Luckily, we decided to get a second opinion. Through an ultrasound and X-Ray we have discovered that Hazel has only one kidney, a deformity with her left scapula (sprengel's deformity), and lots of concerns with her spine.(scoliosis, fused vertebrae etc) We have also discovered through a test called a VCUG that Hazel's bladder is not anatomically correct and she has vesicoureteral reflux. Right now everything is still so unknown. But her Doctors are speculating that Hazel has a rare skeletal disorder called Klippel-Feil Syndrome.
PS - Google does a much better job then me at explaining all this medical lingo.
We are currently in the process of getting a million tests done. It is awful, but I know these tests are going to help her. I'm so thankful for all the support from my friends and family. I'm hoping in the next few months her Doctors can pinpoint exactly what she has and what they can do to help her. As for now, I'm forcing myself to open my door, come out of my room and be the parent I have to be for Lincoln and Hazel. But, I'm not pretending to be super mom. As soon as they go to bed and I'm going straight back to my room and shutting my door. Who am I kidding-I'm bringing a tub of ice cream with me.
On our way to the Kidney Center at Children's Mercy. So lucky to have Katy helping us!
How cute are these baby gowns?!?